Settling In...

I can't believe we left Connecticut about 25 days ago...I guess with the week it took us to drive here, the week of work (for my husband), the week of Christmas and New Year's with family in Oregon, and now the middle of this week, it makes sense. It's still amazing how much time has passed...and how intense the emotional rollercoaster has been.

My husband's had to deal with a lot of different Sarah's over the past few weeks: the one who is a stickler about diet/exercise, the one who wants adventure and excitement, the one who wants nothing more than to sit on the couch all day and watch TLC/HGTV, the one who obessively thinks about cakes/cookies/ice cream/breads and must eat them NOW! I've never been one that moves easily with change...I like to be in control of the situation...yet, I don't like the responsibility that comes with that control. There are days when I want to be that successful 20-something with the world in her hand...and then there are the times I want nothing more than to move back home and have my parents take control of my life again. The lack of structure over the last few weeks has been a challenge; but, I'm grateful that I do have the free time to sit and contemplate what I want/need in my life right now.

I've been trying to get myself out there on the road again...but there is fear that keeps me indoors, driving myself crazy on the treadmill. I can't go more than 20 minutes on that machine before I feel like time has slowed to a snail's pace and those 30 minutes I plugged in will never, ever end. So instead, I'll plop myself down on the recumbent bike and leaf through the latest issue of People or something. I've been dying to get out on the road now that I found a path along the waterfront...but, I'm afraid...and the list of "reasons why" is long (and mostly silly). Today I'll try a different yoga class at the gym (the first was disappointing); I need to get back into the yoga-habit, too. Routine keeps me sain :-)